Seeing Red

I know that I’m a child who thinks she’s the only one with feelings

I know that I’m a child who thinks nothing else matters but her

It’s been slung at me from across midnight living rooms

Or from the passenger’s seat smack into the side of my face

I know we’re all lost

But you know how to read a map

And I don’t even know how to fake it

So I keep doing the dishes and wind-chiming in my own ear

“Tiny accomplishments are still accomplishments”

I’ve been eating food lately, normal amounts of actual solid food

I keep putting things inside myself as if to say, look

I'M A REAL GIRL

And I know no one likes a pity party

But just wait til you party with me

I know I’m a problem child, I know I’m just dysgraphic math

I know my imaginary numbers don’t help

The last matador I knew I challenged by asking

Can’t you just see the best in me? And fuck, maybe he did

And there just wasn't enough there